I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
