they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
There are leaves in my underwear?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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