Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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