I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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