I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
