i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
