I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Found the puke drawer
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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