no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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