hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
