Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
