Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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