it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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