girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
