Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
