I feel great
I just peed on a car
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
