and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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