But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
