I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize