windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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