can we get nightvision for the apartment?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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