I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
