i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
