OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
