no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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