he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I forgot wine drunk hurts
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
