We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
my being single is dangerous.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
