remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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