Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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