i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I think people are normalizing furries
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
