also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize