Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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