I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
