Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
