that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
