I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
