I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
