You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The power of my boobs compel you
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
