After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
