So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
