So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
