Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
i now understand why vodka
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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