girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize