I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
If I had your ass I would rule the world
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
