Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
