drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I think your dad took our porno
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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