susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
she pinky promised me she was 18
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
