Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
