if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize