i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
did you just send me my own nude
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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