This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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