found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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