Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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