Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Green mimosas i think yes
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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