the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
