You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
