Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
