my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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