You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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