Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
This house was built for laser tag.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Can you bring me the toilet please
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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