woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize