i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
