Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize