Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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