So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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