Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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