My hand turned me down
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
