Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
