Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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