i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
